Know anybody who always seems to see the bright side of every situation? Who consistently meets adversity with a sincere smile and positive predisposition?
If so, please send me their contact info, because with today’s trials and tribulations, approaching the apex of a global pandemic, we need as much of this energy as we can get.
When I answer that first question, one name comes to mind. One face. Les Perkins was a member of a leadership team for a company with whom I had a longstanding relationship. I honestly can’t remember a time in which he didn’t greet me with a warm smile. No matter what challenges the group faced or what vexing problems were dumped at his doorstep, he addressed them each with a can-do spirit that was more than a little infectious.
As one who is prone to wearing his emotions on his sleeve, it’s hard not to be a bit jealous of someone who seems to have such a natural advantage in facing adversity. Wouldn’t it be great to be so naturally predisposed? How lucky Les is to be gifted with such a sunny predisposition.
Or so I thought until one day I discovered his secret. While walking to our cars following the end of a long meeting, I noticed a sticker on his rear windshield.
As it turns out, Les was not optimistic by the grace of God. He was optimistic by intention. He was a member of an Optimists Club, an organization with more than a hundred-year history and over 80 thousand members. And Les didn’t just pay dues. He attended monthly meetings with a peer group that literally practiced being optimistic. Les’ optimism was not accidental, it was intentional. He was not lucky, he was disciplined.
At the time I noticed the sticker, I’d worked closely with Les for more than a year, yet he’d never revealed his affiliation. He wasn’t hiding, he just wasn’t recruiting. When questioned, Les was happy to tell me about what the group did for the community and what it did for him. The philosophies this group taught were foundational to his life.
With the discovery that my colleague was more practiced than gifted, my admiration for him only increased. It was also a clear indicator that my own outlook could be shifted in a more positive direction. Perhaps we all have the capacity to do the same.
As I compose this essay, the entire world is in the throes of a global pandemic. The final human toll is rising daily and we aren’t sure where it will end. The worldwide economic impact will undoubtedly exceed anything in human history. We are isolated in little pods and cannot visit loved ones even in the hospital. The news seems to get worse every day.
And yet, there is reason to hope. There will be better days. This too shall pass. Good things will emerge from the bad. The sun will shine again. We know that intuitively. Instinctively. If you’re lucky, you also know it from experience.
Thinking back on almost forty years of employment, I’ve lost my job kind of suddenly three different times. The first was to lay off. The second was associated with a change in control. The third was due to an organizational pivot. Each time, my occupational resurrection has been less stressful. I’ve learned to relax and breathe. Rather than be surprised when things eventually improve, I now expect it.
I’ll write more about a specific technique I use in a coming article, but in general I assume a positive outcome in advance and focus all my energy on making that happen. Ironically, doing so seems to increase the odds that the positive possibility is realized. I think Les and his fellow optimists would approve.
So, as we face this current crisis, I resolve to be willfully, stubbornly optimistic. Please join me in leading discussions that have an upbeat bent. Yes, people are really dying and there is a real possibility that life ACV (After Corona Virus) will never be the same as life BCV (Before Corona Virus). I just choose not to spend whatever time I have left listing the losses, playing the blame game, or living in fear. I elect to work with other positive people to proactively find a silver lining rather than be surprised when it is eventually revealed.
So, what can you do to create more willful optimism in your life?
1) Focus on the Positive. Take note of the good things that happen. Write them down. Collect them. Share them with others.
2) Find a Support Group. Don’t go it alone. Consider joining an organization with a longstanding history, like Optimist International or a new one like the one we just launched as the Silver Lining Finders LinkedIn Group. If you can’t find a group that appeals to you, make one of your own.
3) Zoom. While we’ve been asked not to gather in person, let’s do it online. The upside is that distance is no longer an issue. I’ve been meeting for the last few weeks with a small group of close friends from my high school that are spread throughout the states. Virtual cocktail parties are the best!
4) Negative News Diet. While it’s probably not wise to eliminate all exposure to network media, my wife and I try to maintain input to a nontoxic level. When possible, we watch only half an hour a day of network news during this period of extreme turbulence and relative isolation.
5) Consume for Inspiration. Nothing against Contagion or The Walking Dead, but you might find it easier to ward off negative thoughts when you watch and read less about the end of the world. Instead, consider revisiting the Harry Potter series or a Tom Clancy spy novel.
Garold (Gary) Markle is the creator of Catalytic Coaching and author of Catalytic Coaching: The End of the Performance Review. He brings real world experience from 17 years in HR leadership in major corporations coupled with 20 years of teaching small and mid-sized organizations how to cultivate their leadership and ditch their detrimental performance reviews for a proven Coaching process.
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